Embracing Your Emotions: Coping with Difficult Feelings

Embrace your sadness!

Did you know that negative emotions aren't actually as terrifying as we think, and that their main purpose is to protect us?Rethinking StressIn our article titled "Rethinking Stress," we explored the surprising benefits of stress in detail. While we could unpack how every single emotion serves us, in this post we will focus on accepting our emotions and making peace with them.

From early childhood, we are conditioned to believe that sadness, fear, anxiety, and other so-called "negative" emotions are bad—things to be eliminated immediately. For instance, it is completely natural for a mother to struggle seeing her child unhappy. Yet, without intending to, she may raise a child who cannot tolerate difficult emotions. The responses we receive from our families shape our sense of self; a child who sees that their mother cannot tolerate unhappiness will internalize this, thinking, "It's wrong for me to feel this way." They will try to wipe out that emotion just as they learned, feeling guilty if they fail. Since we pass our life experiences down through generations, we must first learn to embrace all of our own emotions.

We can try to embrace all our feelings, or at least make peace with them if we can't love them right away. Ultimately, making peace with your emotions starts with making peace with yourself. Sadness is just as much a part of us as joy—just as unhappiness belongs to us as much as happiness, anger as much as delight, or love as much as hatred. All emotions come and go; their very nature is meant to be experienced in the moment. If we don't allow these feelings to simply be when they arrive, we may end up facing unexpected psychological challenges down the road.

Research shows that running away from our emotions is a primary driver of depression and anxiety. Fully accepting our feelings, on the other hand, creates a significantly positive impact. In fact, there is an entire therapeutic approach built around this: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This method aims to help individuals observe unwanted thoughts and feelings without fighting them, anchor themselves in the present moment, and make room for all of their emotions.

As we can see, accepting our emotions as they are is a deeply beneficial approach. Acceptance brings a profound sense of relief and fosters self-compassion.

This process isn't as simple as it sounds, but it is entirely possible. And it all begins with the willingness to try!